Love You
by tsukamatopudding
Summary: Hikaru is so confused...how does he love his brother? Does he love his brother like a brother, or is there more to it?  Rated M for fruk, yaoi, and intense sexual scenes. Yep. Worst description I've ever written.
1. Building Love

A cool wind rustled eagerly through Kaoru's hair, and he shivered. Goosebumps made their subtle appearance on the soft skin of the back of his neck. His eyes squinted ever so slightly as he absorbed the beauty of the sun, slowly sinking into the depths of the far-away horizon. A sigh escaped his lips, and his breath made a small cloud, a little puff of steam that was quickly sheared away by the wind.

Light shivers danced merrily through his chilly body, biting through the coat he had worn to glance at the sunset from the roof. His gaze left the rim of light left from the dying sun, to his fingers, pale from the cold, as they gently spidered over to his other hand.

Grasping his two hands together, he blew on them, imagining a fire inside of his belly heating them. Gradually, they regained color, and he lifted them to examine them, brows creasing. Frowning to himself, he stuck his hands in his pockets, and returned his gaze to the horizon.

"You're going to freeze, you know."

Kaoru started, and he turned his head slowly to find his twin lounging against the door to the roof. Hikaru's expression was seemingly lazy, but under the aloofness, Kaoru could sense his twin's worry about him becoming a motionless ice cube.

"I'm wearing a coat, Hika. I'll be fine."

A toothy grin appeared on his twin's face, and he strode over to Kaoru, snuggling up against him. "Yeah, well. I couldn't help but-"

"Worry?"

"I wasn't going to say that." Hikaru said, his smile vanishing.

"Hika-" Kaoru started. "You worry about me too much. I just came to look at the sunset."

"You could've worn a heavier coat!" Hikaru said, lifting his head up from Kaoru's clothed shoulder, to glance anxiously at his brother. "And gloves! I can't believe you aren't wearing gloves! You know how cold it gets! Especially after the sun goes down, and-"

Hikaru's frantic tones petered off into silence as he caught the look on Kaoru's face.

"Hikaru."

"What?"

A small sigh escaped from Kaoru's lips. "You have to stop babying me. I'm just strong as you."

"But, Kaoru!" Hikaru protested. "You know you're-you're just so-"

"What, Hika?" Kaoru shouted. "Weak? Because I was born weak? Because I was sick all the time when I was little? Look, that was then, and this is now! I'm strong, okay?"

Kaoru barreled into his brother, stuffing his face in Hikaru's chest. "Kao, I-"

"I'm as strong as you, Hika." Kaoru whispered. "I know I am!"

Hikaru's expression softened, and he stroked his brother's hair. "Yeah, I know. I just don't want to see you get hurt. I always worry about you, because if something ever happened to you, I'd-"

Hikaru couldn't finish. A single salty tear slid down his frozen cheek, and was brushed away by Kaoru's icy fingers. "I won't let anything bad happen. To either of us."

"Yeah."

Kaoru and Hikaru slipped into their room, and plopped down onto the bed as one. Both of them were in boxers, and Kaoru was lying sleepily on Hikaru, while Hikaru wrapped his arms around his brother.

"Mmph…" Kaoru sighed, as his lids drooped dangerously low.

"Go to sleep already, Kaoru." Hikaru said, as he stroked Kaoru's hair lightly. His lips curled into a smile as he felt Kaoru sag into his body. Hikaru gently rolled over onto his side, cradling Kaoru, so they were both on their sides. "If only you knew…"

Hikaru smiled again, but a little hiccup escaped from his throat as a tear slid down his cheek once more. He was so sick of the whole "brotherly love act". He was sick of pretending to love his brother romantically, because it just made his heart ache. For him, he wasn't sure where his acting ended and his real feelings began. The whole thing was confusing him hopelessly.

Even worse, he didn't want to talk to Kaoru about it. They had always been close, _very_ close, but romantically so? Hikaru wasn't sure.

Kaoru started to snore lightly, and Hikaru set him gently on his back as he slid out of bed. He pulled the curtain away from the window and stared at the moon, tears running down his cheeks endlessly. This couldn't go on. He would have to talk to someone, but he only ever talked to Hikaru about how he felt. He thought about calling Haruhi, but had a feeling she would disapprove his feelings towards his brother.

His hand suddenly grasped the curtain. He heard motion on the bed, and whipped his head around. He relaxed as he saw that it was just Kaoru shifting positions in his sleep. He turned his head back before he could see his brother's eyes flicker open, fingers searching for missing warmth.

Hikaru bent his down, defeated.

"Hey, Hika?" Hikaru started violently as a pair of chilly fingers placed themselves on his shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"Nightmare." Hikaru said stiffly. "Go back to bed."

"Hey, are you sick?" Kaoru asked, his voice full of concern. "You sound all stuffed up!"

Hikaru kept his face away from his brother. "Just go back to sleep, okay?"

Kaoru slowly crept his fingers up Hikaru's neck, and turned his brother's face towards him, finally seeing the wet tracks on Hikaru's cheeks, grossly bright in the light of the moon.

"Hika!" Kaoru gasped. He pulled his brothers face into the cocoon of his chest. "What's wrong? Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

Hikaru brought his face up to Kaoru's, sniffing slightly. "I can't, Kaoru!"

He buried his face back into his brother's chest, ashamed of himself. "Hika!"

Hikaru pushed himself away from his brother, and turned back to the window, his fingers like claws on the unforgiving glass. "I can't tell you what's wrong. I can't, okay! You'd hate me, you'd be disgusted, I can't do that to you."

Kaoru grabbed his brother's shirt gently, and slowly pulled him back on the bed, making him sit, and Kaoru stood in front of him like a sentry. "Tell me. Now."

Hikaru shook his head wildy, causing his hair to fly back and forth. "No. I can't, don't you understand?"

"Hikaru." Hikaru jolted, a reaction to hearing his whole name. "Hikaru, please!"

"Fine. But you'll never look at me the same way again." Hikaru said. He glanced up at Kaoru, towering over his sitting brother. "I-I noticed this a few months ago."

Kaoru's brow furrowed. "Noticed what?"

"Hold on, I'm telling you, okay?" Hikaru waited for his brother to nod before continuing. "Well, it was during one of our hosting sessions. The girls were squealing, as always, and I…I realized I was jealous."

"Jealous?" Kaoru whispered. His eyes widened.

"Jealous." Hikaru swallowed. "Because I realized…I could never have you."

"Have…me?" Kaoru's eyes widened further.

"I would never get to…I don't know! I wouldn't get to kiss you, or make love to you, or anything!" Hikaru said, burying his face in his hands. "Because I knew you…I just knew it wouldn't work, that you could never love me that way!"

"You…idiot." Kaoru mumbled.

Hikaru sobbed into his hands. "I know I am, okay?"

Kaoru blinked tears out of his eyes. This was more than he could have hoped for. He pushed Hikaru back onto the bed. Hikaru glanced up at his brother, right before the latter caught his lips and claimed them as his own.

Hikaru's eyes widened in surprise as Kaoru's soft tongue plunged into his mouth, but soon was overcome with joy. He finally knew how he loved Kaoru. There was no more confusion.


	2. Making Love

As the kiss deepened, Kaoru's fingers slid slowly to Hikaru's waist, tugging at his boxers. Hikaru arched his back so they could be removed, and pulled off Kaoru's with his hands. Their fleshy hilts smacked into each other as Kaoru began to grind against his brother.

"Dammit-Kaoru!" Hikaru panted. "Where the hell did you learn to do that?"

But Kaoru, instead of answering, slid his hand around his brother's base, pumping and thrusting with an increasing tempo. Hikaru's groans grew louder and louder. Then, Kaoru's hand left Hikaru's new erection to insert a finger into himself. Hikaru watched, entranced, as Kaoru proceeded to sensually finger himself. A small amount of drool appeared at the corner of Hikaru's mouth.

"Ah-Hi-Hika!" Kaoru panted.

Hikaru's hands snuck up Kaoru's thighs, and pulled his hand away from his entrance. Slowly, Kaoru sunk down on Hikaru's length, until he could go no further. "K-Kao, you sure you want to do this?"

Kaoru smiled, his cheeks flushed slightly. "Yes. Of course!"

Hikaru's face broke into a smile that lit up the dim room. Kaoru grinned back, and began to sway his hips back and forth, laughing when Hikaru moaned, but soon following suit.

Hikaru was mystified that every little swish of Kaoru's hips should coax such a reaction out of him. He moaned louder and louder, and almost screamed when Kaoru slid up and down his length while still swaying back and forth.

"St-stop being so loud, Hika!" Kaoru said. "The maids will hear!"

But Hikaru didn't care. He pulled himself up to a sitting position, and his lips collided with his brother's. his hand curled around Kaoru's base and he pumped rhythmically. Kaoru's tongue prodded Hikaru's bottom lip, and Hikaru granted him quick access.

All too soon, Hikaru knew he was close.

"Kao, I'm going to cum!" He said, and they clenched on to each other, hugging and kissing wildy, while the blankets below them were stained with white…


End file.
